Taking Care After a Miscarriage
06 Jul, 2020
A miscarriage happens when a pregnant woman loses her baby due to natural causes. At Your Options Medical, we recognize that our society does a poor job of affirming the value, dignity, and worth of the unborn life inside the womb. Similarly, society does a poor job of affirming that a life has been lost when a miscarriage occurs. God’s Word shows us that even before we are formed in the womb, He knows us (Jeremiah 1:5) and He is the one who forms us within our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). Therefore, the life of the unborn has great value and when lost, deserves to be grieved.
Often times, our patients come to us not expecting to be pregnant and not always happy about being pregnant. But sometimes, they end up having a miscarriage and are struggling with the physical and emotional symptoms. We understand that this is completely normal. Being sad and experiencing a mix of emotions following a miscarriage is to be expected, even if the woman carrying the child did not necessarily want to be pregnant in the beginning. When informed of a woman’s miscarriage, we like to offer her some resources to find healing as she processes through these difficult emotions. We also offer her a small care package with a card and a few comfort items like tea and chocolate.
Even if you personally have never experienced a miscarriage, you can show compassion and love to those who have. First, let’s review a few symptoms typical after a miscarriage as well as some helpful tips to take care of yourself or your friend following a miscarriage.
- Bleeding, heavy or light lasting 1-2 weeks.
- Cramping lasting 1-10 days.
- Low-grade fever.
- Unusual vaginal discharge.
- Breast Tenderness.
These symptoms can all be normal. However, if you are uncertain about any of your physical symptoms, it is always best to contact your doctor. After a miscarriage, it can be helpful to take a few days to rest and allow your body to physically recover. Your body has just undergone a difficult transition and your hormones are likely out of balance; you’ll need some time to adjust and heal.
The emotional symptoms listed above are also completely normal to feel after a miscarriage. You have suffered a loss. Again, even if you really did not want to be pregnant in the beginning, you have now lost your child. It is good to take some time to grieve and process through your emotions.
Take some time to rest, allow yourself to cry, and reach out to trusted loved ones for support. It is okay to ask for help, especially when you are grieving a loss. Talk with a friend to help release your emotions, ask a family member to come help you clean your house. You will be okay, healing takes time. Ask for help. Be honest with your doctor. Take care of yourself. Each day it will get a little easier to keep moving forward.
If you are the support person to someone who has just experienced a miscarriage, here are a few things you can do to be supportive.
–Be Present. Sometimes just being there, not saying a word, but just listening or crying with a friend can be very healing for those hurting.
–Offer Practical Help. Instead of trying to say all the right things, just show simple acts of kindness. Bring your friend a meal, offer to watch other children, take care of some laundry for her. These are simple and impactful ways you can help.
-Watch What You Say. Sometimes, our well-meaning words can do more harm than good. Phrases such as “At least it was early!” “You can always try again!” never seem to do any good for the mother who is hurting. Instead, use phrases that affirm her sense of loss and grief “I’m so sorry for your loss!” “This is so hard and I am so sorry you’re going through this!”
Miscarriage is hard because a life has been lost and with it many hopes and dreams for the future that might have been. If you know someone who has had a miscarriage, please be sensitive with your words and offer compassionate support. If you personally have experienced a miscarriage, we are so sorry for your loss. Be sure to reach out to those whom you love and trust for support. Grief needs to be processed. You’ll never forget the child you lost, but your heart will heal in time and instead of pain, we pray you will be filled with hope knowing that Heaven offers an opportunity to meet your child one day and never miss him or her again.